Part-Time Lovers: Happily Taking Someone Else

How come we won’t admit we don’t mind being someone’s side partner?

I took time to think about the life of a side chick/side man, and realized SZA’s “The Weekend” song shed golden light from a woman’s perspective. To pass a throwback, Stevie Wonder’s “Part-Time Lover” introduced us to this label a long time ago. A lot of times, people fall into being a side girl/guy involuntary, having no idea their lover was already taken. I’ve been in a few situations like this, and it sucks. Currently, side-piece relationships are promoted as normal, but still under wraps until discovered.

Let’s be real and admit being with someone knowing they have their own relationship has happened on purpose, which is what SZA graciously sang about. We don’t admit this because it’s taboo. It seems wrong to knowingly be with a taken person.

Side note: I’m amazed how anyone can maintain multiple relationships simultaneously. Splitting up your time and emotion for just one person is challenging already. To add another person top of all that? Where are people finding these clones?

Anyway, some people confidently exploit their “homewrecking” abilities and proud of it. I’m not condoning infidelity. I just think it’s important to speak about the reality of happy side pieces walking the streets. They are very comfortable laying with someone who has their own obligations elsewhere.

We give this angelic light to [some] side pieces. Presenting them as innocent victims who “didn’t know,” without considering there is a more-than-likely chance they knew the circumstances.

In my past, I have been the “other” woman willingly. There were times my conscience knocked me upside the head while I was on my back enjoying really amazing sex. It took time to figure out whether I was actually upset being the side chick or was it society telling me to be upset. After awhile I realized I was not upset at all. I accepted the position I was in.

Honesty is important for circumstances like this, and I think it plays a role in why some side pieces are happy. I rather a guy understand he has to tell me the truth and give me space to make my own decision to continue or not.

The focal point for being a side piece happily is subjective and differs from person to person. Maybe you like that you don’t have to answer to this person per se; you like having your own space and seeing them when you want, not because you have to; or you like that you don’t have to be emotionally available, you just want sex. Everyone has their own reason to lay in arms that belong to someone else. It’s still control over your body, your actions, and your fun.

Be real with yourself. If you like that your man is her man and her man, then don’t be ashamed by judging others behind a closed door. Stand in your truth. SZA let us know that the sex can be so bomb, she really doesn’t care who else has him, as long as she has him for the weekend. 

If you’re in a side piece and love it, tell me about your secret in my Juicys Box anonymously (or with a psuedo name to keep it interesting) for a chance to be featured.

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