Society has us thinking being single means you’re unloved or living your life wrong. I’m here to tell you that you’re fine and there are benefits to this perfectly timed part of your life.
As us women get older, we become conflicted on staying single or finding love. Either we hear from our family “don’t rush, love will find you unexpectedly” or “when are you getting married? I want grandkids.”
Being single can plenty of things. Yes, if you are dating, you remain single until you both agree to be exclusive. The talking stage is a blurry line in today’s dating game.
Family and outside influences tend to make us believe if we’re single, something is wrong with us. Consequently, this causes us to somewhat settle for less than we deserve. We catch ourselves counting the biology clock, thinking if we aren’t married by a certain age the world is over, but this is all wrong. Furthermore, society created this notion that if women are single at a certain age then we’re unfit or unloved. For some reason women receive more pressure to marry than men do.
The challenge is putting yourself first, and the reward is meeting someone who appreciates that about you.
There are tons of ironically and seemingly candid photos of couples reposted by singles captions “#goals.” What goals per se? We have no idea of the energy behind this staged photography. Social media masks what love really means. Reality TV reconfigured this false pretense of what love. Actually, reality TV has some thinking: this person doesn’t really love me if they’re not cheating on me, or we’re not arguing, or they’re not treating me bad.
Nevertheless, being hurt or cheated on is unavoidable. But we can build our self-respect and self-worth to know we do not deserve that type of hurt from anyone. And we build that by being single.
A small long list of reasons why being single is the best time of your life:
- self-reflection
- alone time turns into the best time
- less worry about someone else
- ability to learn more about you & do what you want to do
- dating gives you extra insight on what you like/dislike
- ability to gain your own intuition/opinion
I love being single and having time to myself. We don’t realize being partnered up takes away getting to know ourselves. Our priority changes to this person’s feelings, thoughts, and doings becoming our main focus. Oftentimes, we may not notice how we subconsciously put someone’s feelings before our own. Avoiding our natural ways in fear of how our partner will react.
My mother always encouraged me to be friends first before taking steps towards a relationship. Initially, I never understood why. The notion of taking my time or taking things slow seemed ludicrous. Our generation is the epitome of fast, quick results. We have never had to wait for anything; the Internet sped up our lives. We used to have to meet someone naturally, in the store, at work, or at school. Therefore, how can we even be comfortable waiting for love when we have apps to connect us quickly to whoever is in close proximity? It seems like a boring idea, but it is true.
We have to be willing to make sure this person fits into our lives. Being friends is the best way to start. Of course, attraction will be there and it can accelerate our intentions. The challenge is putting yourself first, and the reward is meeting someone who appreciates that about you.
So take all the time you need getting into the groove of your mind and spirit. Take time marveling in who you are and the way you move. You will surely meet someone who deserves you and it will all be worthwhile.
