Age Differences: Who’s Counting

We have Cougars, MILFs, DILFs, Sugar Daddies; all code names for someone older than ourselves and someone we want more than worldly advice from. Let’s take away the taboo and get a bit serious about age. What’s the big deal?

Someone looked at me sideways when I told them I’m dating someone 10 years older than me. I always wondered what the big deal is if I am an adult. I mean, seriously, this girl had her eyes open, her lips apart, asking me if (of all people) my parents were okay with me dating someone older than me. I’m 26.

True, everyone has age limits; some choose no older than 5 years or no younger than 3 years. It is all preference.

Personally, the age difference doesn’t matter too much. As long as both parties are over the age of 21. If someone is under 21, for example, 18 or 19, I see a problem if they’re dating someone who is in their late 20s to 30s. There are people out there who prey on younger minds to mold into their own controlling, twisted fantasies. But once you hit your mid-20s, I’d hope you’d have experience and developed your own mind.

I’ve always felt attracted to older men because I, myself, felt older. My maturity appealed to older men and their maturity fascinated me. Most were upfront, knew how to communicate, and didn’t beat around the bush. I caught myself being able to carry great conversations with them and showed I could handle “adult” circumstances.

Some differences were not having enough to bring to the table. By that I mean, owning a home, a car, or possessing a steady career (at the time). It’s intimidating to meet someone so put together while you’re still piecing small parts of your life.

But I have met men who were older and not even close to put together. They exuded energy that said, well I’m older, so I know better, but in all actuality, they knew nothing. I’ve met more than a few 30-something year-olds who had not a clue on what communication was or how to please a woman.

Dating guys around my age, between 18 and 25, was an annoyance. I encountered dudes who assumed they were established (and some were), but gave horrible conversation.

If I met someone aged under 21, I couldn’t help but judge immediately. What dates could we possibly go on together if you can’t even order a drink? (Said by a Younger Ignorant Me).

I noticed some younger guys didn’t know how to move conversation past “What are you doing” or the most irrelevant and offensive: “What’s your body count?” – No thanks.

The mild differences between speaking to a man more in my age range versus someone older were exceptions of what they could and could not do. I became more understanding to a man under 25 who didn’t quite understand romance and equated that to someone who needed to be taught because they were figuring it out. Whereas, I expected a man older  than 35 to know how to please me or keep me satisfied in bed.

When I was in high school, my prom date was younger than me. I was so infatuated with his height that I thought that equated to maturity. But in turn, his conversation—or lack of conversation and constant “babe” every two frivolous text messages—drove me crazy.

This is when I knew conversation was a deal breaker for me and age meant nothing if you couldn’t stimulate my mind.

The oldest I’ve dated was 50 while I was 25. Off first glance, it was an obvious judgment-bound circumstance. But the experience, for what it’s worth, was a lesson. No matter the age gap, you’re bound to butt heads, but still find a connection and make things work.

Despite the age gap, there was great chemistry in that brief encounter. What brought us to our end was his controlling, I-don’t-want-you-hanging-out-in-the-club mentality. Enormous red flag, so I exited swiftly. But that was also the age culture playing a part. Which, oftentimes, is the obstacle couples with age differences have to face. I being young and free couldn’t connect with his mentality of wanting to settle down with someone who rather stay at home.

My experience dating older men allowed me to be a little more open-minded with men my age. I see that I can’t expect men to have their entire life together when I myself am not all the way together.

As a final thought, dating someone older or younger than you is all due to preference. There is nothing wrong with an age difference, as long as the connection is real and the respect is prominent. I enjoy dating someone older than me, and I like how they appeal to me.

If you have an age preference, let me know in a comment below or share it to my Juicys box.

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