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For Better or Worse: Dating a Lawrence

I came across DamnItPops’ recent article titled, ‘“Are You Lawrence?” about the debatable main character, Lawrence, on the amazing HBO comedy, Insecure.

He touched on valid points: a woman can’t stand a lazy, unmotivated man and Lawrence, a man betrayed, is finding his way through this new generation of dating; doing so in a way that is all too familiar to us all. My favorite line Pops wrote is, “He is the reminder of the kind of man to try to be and not to be in the same breath. We all have good and bad qualities”

This really had me thinking: wow, I’ve had a relationship with a Lawrence before and it was no fun.

In this particular relationship, I was out grinding, working, in school, making new friends. He was uninterested, lazy, unemployed, and inconsistent romantically, worrying about the wrong things.

From a woman’s stance, I resonated with Issa as her relationship took multiple turns and split for the worse. I do not condone the cheating route, but I understood Issa’s position.

  • We want a man who will take charge of his life because that shows you handle stressful situations with ease. We understand life is out of our control, but you can grasp it with ambition. Make do with your circumstances. Lawrence did what he could, applying to jobs while also holding on to a dream. Issa wanted to see results in the present moment after seeing nothing for far too long. Don’t give up on your dreams, but be realistic. We all have to work, make ends meet, keep afloat. Women love a man who is independent and a provider, especially if she is independent as well.
  • Romance is a big deal and sometimes too late is worse than never. I love to do things for and with my boo to steady chemistry. It seemed Lawrence chose the wrong time to attempt to spark their relationship back up. He took so much time sulking and being lethargic, he failed to notice how he was affecting Issa. Instances like this shows your partner you aren’t paying attention to your relationship and they can’t force you to do so, either. If you cause arguments frequently over irrelevant matter instead of finding cute ways to show you love someone, you’re projecting your worries and fail to see the bigger picture of a shit-show romance.

Personally, I can’t handle a man who has no drive to change his life. I am very well-driven and make sure I do what I have to do to make myself happy. That relationship made me realize I can’t build up a man’s self-esteem. I can be supportive and extend help to an extent, but if he has no ambition to change on his own, the efforts go unnoticed.

This generation’s dating scene is rough; everyone wants to make it and we all don’t have enough patience. Being in a relationship or dating someone you care about means a sure ticket on a roller coaster. You never know what you’re getting into. But dating a person who doesn’t help their self is emotionally and mentally draining. This doesn’t mean to give up on your relationship (and this does not mean cheat), but be real with yourself.

Ladies, we can’t change a man unless he wants to. Period. I think that is a message many of us fail to realize. Yes, men (and ladies, too) have good and bad qualities, as Pops wrote. It’s how we adapt to these qualities to fit our life that matters most.

If you cause arguments frequently over irrelevant matter instead of finding cute ways to show you love someone, you’re projecting your worries and fail to see the bigger picture of a shit-show romance.

Dating my “Lawrence” helped me appreciate how extensive my support reached. I figured out what type of man would make me happy. I couldn’t stick around negative energy that did not want to transform into something greater, when I, myself, was growing into someone greater. So I took charge, put myself first, and left the relationship while I was ahead.

Someone might say, well why would you leave someone you care about. Why leave someone while they are down. Who is to say my hand was not out while they were down? If they didn’t want to take my hand, it is no longer my problem. This may sound harsh to someone else. Oh well. I put my needs and desires before someone else. Issa took a different route than mine, but in the end, we get what we want from taking selfish steps. It’s just a matter of your end goal and how you’ll there.

Share a comment below about your decision to leave or stay with a Lawrence.

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