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Why A Baecation is Your Modern Day Love Counselor

bae·ca·tion (noun): to go away on vacation with one’s bae/lover/partner/significant other

*blasts 2003’s Classic, Let’s Get Away by T.I.*

Some of my friends believe if you can’t travel with someone you like, then that person is not for you. I believe that. Going on vacation with someone you’re dating is a big step. You open the gate to being around each other for more than 24 hours. It’s not the typical, meet up at 6 p.m. and leave around 3 a.m. the next morning.

Vacations reveal our true selves whether we want to showcase it or not. Being on vacation means letting someone know your shit does not smell like roses, your deadly farts are actually deadly, and your breath does not smell like peppermint at 8 a.m. (Whitley Gilbert’s Morning Glow only works for Whitley). They see your habits that you may usually keep tucked away.

Most importantly, baecations are bonding sessions. Spending so much time with a person allows you the chance to decide how you really feel about them. Once you feel at ease spending many continuous hours with your partner, you may have found the one.

According to a 2013 study (updated in 2015) from the U.S. Travel Association, 72% of Americans felt travel sparks romance in their relationship. The study discovers over 60% to 70% of couples say vacationing together creates better communication, greater sex, and a relaxing getaway from day-to-day life. It improves their intimacy, how they speak to each other, and maintains a stronger connection that lasts beyond the trip. There’s a great 40% who say their sex life was permanently better after a trip of leisure. There were couples admitting a trip away was better than a small gift! Which is more my cup of tea. Put the plane ticket in a box, tell me Merry Christmas (or Happy Birthday) and we’re off into the sunset.

A major tip I’ve learned: Alone time.

Respectfully, giving each other space is a huge turn on. It does not have to take up the entire day (of course not), but a few minutes away from each other allows you both to mentally rejuvenate. You avoid feeling suffocation or aggravation. What makes this feeling the best is when you both do not feel bad about the other wanting a few moments alone.

We assume getting alone time is impossible because we’re taking a one-on-one trip. This is quite untrue. Whether you’re taking a shower by yourself, start your day a bit earlier, having some solidarity keeps you levelheaded and balanced. If your partner annoys you for whatever reason, use your alone time to get rid of any unnecessary negative energy.

Personally, on my first baecation, being the early bird that I am, I chilled by the pool early mornings while my partner was being the late sleeper they are. I was able to boost my energy, and plus, I kind of missed them a bit.

I find this to encourage self-love because you get comfortable in your own space. We reach a certain age where we more protective of the energy we give and receive. Those few minutes to ourselves is the recharge we need to go back and face the world. Once we discover what makes us happy (for me, I need silence for a decent part of my day), we look forward to making time for it on our trip.

Another tip: Don’t control everything.

Creating an itinerary is irritating, but it’s stress-free as a joint effort. Sometimes our partner may not be too involved in planning and that brings on the tension. You want to make sure you both have a great time. It takes two to tango, right? Discuss what each of you are in the mood to do for vacation and meet in the middle. You may want to sunbathe, while your partner wants to jet ski. It’s less stress taking turns choosing activities or restaurants for parts of the day or combining them. Chill on the beach after riding the jet skis. Problem solved.

Last tip: Staycations. I love these! It’s inexpensive and still gives you the feel of being away. I think just the feel of being in a hotel room immediately turns your time together into a retreat. I did a staycation with my partner in Manhattan and I nearly forgot I was still a train ride away from home. This is a great alternative to wanting time away with your honey, without spending Passport Mami/Papi funds.

I think my favorite part about planning a baecation is finding a destination. The possibilities are endless, but it is amazing to see how the simplest place can call for so much adventure and fun with your partner. Molding together likes and dislikes simplify your destination choices. Hiking in the woods, snowboarding in the slopes or just being beach bums still create amazing bonding.

Baecations allow us to be open, fun, and in love. Set one up immediately, whether it’s here or there. You’ll be so glad you did.

Do you have a favorite baecation spot? Recommend my readers in a comment below.

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